[ Sam swallows roughly, quirking a tiny smile in return and tilting his head in acknowledgement. He does know, and that's part of the reason that half the time Sam felt real damn lucky that Steve trusted him enough to let him in. ]

I didn't, either. Only one I had died a few years before I met you.

[ But it's not the same, Sam knows it's not the same. Sam's not the one with someone sitting in front of him knowing things about him that a stranger should never know, claiming to be his best friend. Sam chose Steve, he chose to help him take down SHIELD and go after Barnes and be an Avenger and oppose the Accords. He chose to be at his side and kept choosing it, every day.

Steve didn't choose to have Sam show up in his life right now. And maybe Sam's just been fooling himself, thinking that because Steve showed up on his doorstep that day, because Steve kept choosing him, there was a chance he'd do it again now when he didn't even know him.

He just doesn't know how to fix this. With Barnes the way he is, both of them having a real big stake in how he's doing - maybe bigger than Sam wants to admit - and with Sam having a huge stake in how Steve's doing - maybe bigger than he should - there's no way it's not gonna be complicated. ]

I know I already told you I'm not expecting anything, but I'm really not. I can try to do better about showing that. [ He gives a soft, dry huff, a little too humorless to be a chuckle. ] Or I can level the playing field a little, give you some stuff about me.