[ He had felt it too, the difference between her coma and the one Anakin had fallen into. He's been told there's nothing to do for them when it happens, that it could happen to any one of them.
Jessica's fading presence aches for him the same of the rest of them, but his priorities have already started to shift, preventing him from wallowing. Ren's mental prodding is an unwanted reminder, makes it harder to push that pain back down - and on top of that, Steve's greeted with whiplash.
The connection fills with white noise for a moment. ]
(I'm not going anywhere.) [ Permanently is the intent behind that, since... he's obviously been somewhere else, in body and spirit ever since the first batch of new hosts landed. The first two men had unsettled him in a way that's not entirely clear, but the aren't the cause for his disappearance from the Bearings. The third - that's the face of a man from his memory, and somehow a completely different person. ]
(I'm here if you need me.)
[ It's the truth. He'll come back for any of them if they ask, even Ren.
But it'd be a temporary return until this other problem is solved. Right now, it's the man from his past that holds most of his thoughts and concern. ]
[Not like that. Not for some nagging weakness nestled deep within his chest, desperate for human companionship no matter what Ren might have said in his drunken, senseless state. This is a selfish urge, borne of an instinctive drive to protect himself— Ilde, Sam, Anakin— the unified, functioning organism they form: he understands it now, Cathaway's insistence on wide-scope self-preservation. Whatever the issues between them, they're broodmates.
They need one another.]
But we're failing in our efforts. Forgetting our purpose. [A beat, and then:]
[ They don't speak the same language, even here. The connection binding them is like an old wound healed wrong, two parts fused imperfectly with the threat of infection underneath broken edges of flesh. ]
(We've barely started.) [ He takes it to mean the mission. This isn't a resupply on a dying planet, this is a whole world full of people that they're somehow supposed to sway. Even for him, it feels like a near impossible task. ]
(He's my friend.) [ Brother, and a vague defensive quality to his response. The ways in which he's been made to trust Ren are complicated. With reluctance: ] (He needs help.)
[In Ren's mind, the longer they take, the more casualties they might suffer. Like paint peeling back at the edges, already he sees vulnerabilities in the present hosts that could weaken given enough time. That Steve's divided attention counts as one to Kylo Ren isn't exactly a good sign mostly because the sith is selfish and single-minded and likely to fixate on it.
He can't stomach returning to Cathaway empty-handed. He won't.]
(Then I'll ask for it. I just need time.) [ Time to work on getting Bucky willing to talk to anyone else for longer than a few minutes and actually accept help. ]
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Jessica's fading presence aches for him the same of the rest of them, but his priorities have already started to shift, preventing him from wallowing. Ren's mental prodding is an unwanted reminder, makes it harder to push that pain back down - and on top of that, Steve's greeted with whiplash.
The connection fills with white noise for a moment. ]
( I'm not going anywhere. ) [ Permanently is the intent behind that, since... he's obviously been somewhere else, in body and spirit ever since the first batch of new hosts landed. The first two men had unsettled him in a way that's not entirely clear, but the aren't the cause for his disappearance from the Bearings. The third - that's the face of a man from his memory, and somehow a completely different person. ]
( I'm here if you need me. )
[ It's the truth. He'll come back for any of them if they ask, even Ren.
But it'd be a temporary return until this other problem is solved. Right now, it's the man from his past that holds most of his thoughts and concern. ]
no subject
[Not like that. Not for some nagging weakness nestled deep within his chest, desperate for human companionship
no matter what Ren might have said in his drunken, senseless state. This is a selfish urge, borne of an instinctive drive to protect himself— Ilde, Sam, Anakin— the unified, functioning organism they form: he understands it now, Cathaway's insistence on wide-scope self-preservation. Whatever the issues between them, they're broodmates.They need one another.]
But we're failing in our efforts. Forgetting our purpose. [A beat, and then:]
I saw him, the man you covet.
no subject
( We've barely started. ) [ He takes it to mean the mission. This isn't a resupply on a dying planet, this is a whole world full of people that they're somehow supposed to sway. Even for him, it feels like a near impossible task. ]
( He's my friend. ) [ Brother, and a vague defensive quality to his response. The ways in which he's been made to trust Ren are complicated. With reluctance: ] ( He needs help. )
[ Not just from Steve. ]
no subject
mostly because the sith is selfish and single-minded and likely to fixate on it.He can't stomach returning to Cathaway empty-handed. He won't.]
And if your help isn't enough?
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