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[ At first just angry. She has been angry for days, that much is not so surprising, but it raises an octave, becomes piercing and more difficult to ignore. Then she is fighting, obvious from the heartbeat of thud-thud-thud-thud-thud, her body buffeted, her swings in kind. Anger rising, painful to be in contact with, like touching a live wire.
But then something changes. An inhaled breath, a moment's tense silence-- until she is on fire. There are flames on her skin, the heat of it blossoms across her breastbone, and everything recognizable that is Ilde goes dark. Replaced with screaming, and the laughing murmurs of a deep masculine voice. Perhaps the screaming is hers? It doesn't sound like a human noise. ]
But then something changes. An inhaled breath, a moment's tense silence-- until she is on fire. There are flames on her skin, the heat of it blossoms across her breastbone, and everything recognizable that is Ilde goes dark. Replaced with screaming, and the laughing murmurs of a deep masculine voice. Perhaps the screaming is hers? It doesn't sound like a human noise. ]
[ Sam's mind doesn't so much as press at Steve's as just... rustle against it, a little, like a warm breeze tugging at Steve's hair. A very quiet I'm here if you need me and will you let me in? ]
[ His mind goes tense, relaxing after a few seconds, but the attention that turns to Sam is murky, shrouded by a heavy curtain. ]
( I should talk to Ilde. ) [ He hasn't tried to yet. Doesn't know how. ]
( I should talk to Ilde. ) [ He hasn't tried to yet. Doesn't know how. ]
( I don't know if she's in a talking mood. But she might like your company, when she comes back out. ) [ From where ever she is, hiding from them all, a distant drumbeat of pain. Sam worries a little, what'll happen when she mingles among the rest of them again, but that's a concern for the future. ]
( What about you? )
( What about you? )
[ He hovers on Sam's suggestion about Ilde, thoughtful, coming to a conclusion of wordless agreement. There's nothing he can offer her right now, but if it takes her too long to come out of this... ]
( I won't miss Ren more than this thing makes me. ) [ His thoughts taste bitter. ] ( Him and Hux were no better than the guys we're fighting back home. )
( I won't miss Ren more than this thing makes me. ) [ His thoughts taste bitter. ] ( Him and Hux were no better than the guys we're fighting back home. )
[ The agreement's met with a sense of acknowledgement of Sam's own. He'll be there when she emerges, too, though he's a hell of a lot less sure she'll want his company. Sam never quite knows where he stands with her - one minute they're sharing world experiences and the next she's scolding him about his role in the Nest.
He isn't surprised by that first comment, but there's a flicker of it at the second. Sam'd known Ren was... a lot, and he couldn't imagine having him for a broodmate, but as bad as Nazis and Hydra? ]
( I only ever saw Ren when he was angry and vulnerable. ) [ There's a brief hesitation, but because it's Steve, he goes for it. ] ( Is it better without him in there, even with the emptiness? )
He isn't surprised by that first comment, but there's a flicker of it at the second. Sam'd known Ren was... a lot, and he couldn't imagine having him for a broodmate, but as bad as Nazis and Hydra? ]
( I only ever saw Ren when he was angry and vulnerable. ) [ There's a brief hesitation, but because it's Steve, he goes for it. ] ( Is it better without him in there, even with the emptiness? )
[There's a hole in the back of Bucky's mind where Steve should be, the absence more apparent when he and Sam fight, when he runs, when the programming tries to burn him out of his own skin. He misses the gentle presence of Steve in his mind, a younger Steve with brighter eyes than Bucky can remember. The hole only grows the longer Steve is asleep and Bucky finds himself wondering if Steve will ever wake up.
The moment he feels that connection slide back into place, Bucky finds himself drawn to follow the glowing thread. Steve. Steve's awake. Steve isn't asleep on the nesting deck on the Station, trapped behind glass no one can break through. Steve, who is now almost alone in his brood, but he has Sam and Bucky and Bucky's pushing through the crowd as fast as he can, heart pummeling against his throat.
He spots the familiar silhouette of the blonde and reaches out mentally, though clumsy and too heavy-handed.]
( Steve. )
The moment he feels that connection slide back into place, Bucky finds himself drawn to follow the glowing thread. Steve. Steve's awake. Steve isn't asleep on the nesting deck on the Station, trapped behind glass no one can break through. Steve, who is now almost alone in his brood, but he has Sam and Bucky and Bucky's pushing through the crowd as fast as he can, heart pummeling against his throat.
He spots the familiar silhouette of the blonde and reaches out mentally, though clumsy and too heavy-handed.]
( Steve. )
[ There's a need to stretch his legs, one that's not well satisfied by the Waypoint given the intensity of the crowds. He'd have a better time back up at the Station if he wanted to go for a jog without having to stop every ten seconds, or veer out of the way of an eight foot lizardman that decided to stop in the middle of the walkway. But he's not really looking for exercise either, he still hasn't decided where he's headed next when -
his name hits him like whiplash, the familiar voice out of nowhere sends his heart jumping into his throat as he turns toward the sound, gaze scanning the crowd for the face of his friend. ]
( Buck - ) [ There's a grin in his tone, a warmth that permeates cool, metal shields and a rolling wave of sun-warmed skin, the first breeze after a heatwave - he squeezes his way through the crowd, offering apologies over his shoulder. ]
his name hits him like whiplash, the familiar voice out of nowhere sends his heart jumping into his throat as he turns toward the sound, gaze scanning the crowd for the face of his friend. ]
( Buck - ) [ There's a grin in his tone, a warmth that permeates cool, metal shields and a rolling wave of sun-warmed skin, the first breeze after a heatwave - he squeezes his way through the crowd, offering apologies over his shoulder. ]
[Bucky might apologize later, but right now he's focused on practically climbing through the crowd, holding tight to the mental connection tying them together. His shields drop to minimal, barely more than snowdrifts as Steve's warmth spreads into his mind. He doesn't realize their proximity until he's pushing past another tentacled creature and landing almost on top of the blonde.
Nothing can stop the grin that immediately brightens Bucky's face, even as he gets an elbow to the back. Maybe stopping in the middle of the walkway isn't a great idea.
Words don't come easy, haven't for a while, so Bucky pours emotion through the link instead, how much he's missed the bright presence of his friend, relief at his awakening, and a touch of fear that curls about his spine.]
Nothing can stop the grin that immediately brightens Bucky's face, even as he gets an elbow to the back. Maybe stopping in the middle of the walkway isn't a great idea.
Words don't come easy, haven't for a while, so Bucky pours emotion through the link instead, how much he's missed the bright presence of his friend, relief at his awakening, and a touch of fear that curls about his spine.]
[ Both hands land on Bucky's shoulders to steady him as the crowd jostles around them. Not an easy task keeping both feet planted on the ground when his friend's wordless greeting permeates his senses in that moment so that he can't tell up from down. There's a lot they hide from each other, or tried to hide from each other, but right now he lets his mind remain open, shields down, reverberating emotions humming along his skin. He lets out a short, breathless laugh, ignoring the crowd pushing at their sides to wrap his arms around Bucky, clapping his back and swallowing hard, riding the elation and letting the touch of fear echo in his chest - a quiet, wordless acknowledgment of the something similar if not shared. A century could have passed in the time that he slept, the same fate as the stranger in the glass coffin, sleeping deep in the Station's belly.
A huff. ]
- glad to be back. [ His voice is more rough than he'd like. ]
A huff. ]
- glad to be back. [ His voice is more rough than he'd like. ]
[Steve's disorientation isn't easily ignored over the link and Bucky tries to pull himself back mentally, but finds himself spilling more instead. A quiet kick in his gut for overloading Steve, for still not being good at this despite training with Sam. He's distracted as he remembers to return the hug, curling his one arm about Steve, so unabashedly relieved at his friend's return.
The depth to Steve's voice, the rough edges, reminds him of the 2016 Steve, but his arm reaches around too much of Steve for him to be bigger.]
Want a hotdog? [To get out of the crowd, to get something in Steve's stomach after his long sleep.]
The depth to Steve's voice, the rough edges, reminds him of the 2016 Steve, but his arm reaches around too much of Steve for him to be bigger.]
Want a hotdog? [To get out of the crowd, to get something in Steve's stomach after his long sleep.]
[ ? - not a fully formed question, and an answer isn't needed - after a few minutes of finishing up the page he'd been reading she might feel him heading toward her direction, his mind a forced, neutral grey. ]
[ She is not in her usual white dress. 'Usual', although since Concordia she has worn a variety of white dresses, some cinched at the waist, others laced at the back, little expressions that she has no forgotten all she learned while there. Today, however, she is in the grey jumpsuit that they all know. Her hair is tied into a knot at the back of her head, and in that moment she barely looks like herself, more like any other host--
That has become appealing to her, to settle in to what she is, rather than continuing on as someone new. ]
I hoped you might be free to work with me.
That has become appealing to her, to settle in to what she is, rather than continuing on as someone new. ]
I hoped you might be free to work with me.
[ He frowns at her, stopping some meters away as he takes in the changes in her appearance. At Camp Lehigh he'd felt a kind of pride in his uniform. On the Station, the sameness tends to make him uncomfortable, this isn't an exception. ]
What were you thinking? [ He won't refuse her. There's only so much training he can do on his own here. ]
What were you thinking? [ He won't refuse her. There's only so much training he can do on his own here. ]
I had hoped--
[ Hm. The quirk of a smile as what she had hoped returns to her. She shakes it off with a soft laugh. ]
I had hoped it would be all of us, but you will have to do.
[ She doesn't actually mean that to be as cruel as it sounds, it's more thoughtless than anything else. She had determined this path a long time ago, and has decided that losing most of the participants isn't going to stop her. ]
Come spar with me. I'd like to see your way of it.
[ Hm. The quirk of a smile as what she had hoped returns to her. She shakes it off with a soft laugh. ]
I had hoped it would be all of us, but you will have to do.
[ She doesn't actually mean that to be as cruel as it sounds, it's more thoughtless than anything else. She had determined this path a long time ago, and has decided that losing most of the participants isn't going to stop her. ]
Come spar with me. I'd like to see your way of it.
[ Even if he hadn't had that unexpected chat with Cathaway, Sam would've reached out to Steve after the way the debriefing had gone - it was tense as hell, and there were ideas tossed around that Sam himself doesn't like, and that he knows got Steve more than unhappy.
But now there's even more of a reason, and his mind brushes over Steve's as he widens their connection.
Hey, man. ]
But now there's even more of a reason, and his mind brushes over Steve's as he widens their connection.
Hey, man. ]
[ His mind is reached deep within the Station, that place he showed Sam some time after they returned from Concordia, a mirror image of the Nesting Deck. It's a quiet place. He's alert to the touch, his thoughts taste like a receding storm.
Hey. He doesn't know what to say. He's angry at everything and nothing, like a hormonal teenager, and on top of that there's a hole in his chest that only seems capable of holding regret. ]
Hey. He doesn't know what to say. He's angry at everything and nothing, like a hormonal teenager, and on top of that there's a hole in his chest that only seems capable of holding regret. ]
[ It's hard to resist the urge to reach out more, to curl his mind around Steve's and try to remind him that he's not alone, to open his own and take on some of that anger, try to lessen some of his regret. He manages to hold himself back, but only just.
Can I join you? It's more an impression than an actual question, it's just - he'd rather be with him physically, instead of just the mental link. ]
Can I join you? It's more an impression than an actual question, it's just - he'd rather be with him physically, instead of just the mental link. ]
[ Misato doesn't knock, pushing the door open slightly, gently, speaking before she's given the permission to. ]
( We'll make sure it doesn't get anywhere close to that. )
[ Her conviction is solid enough to touch. Promises made must be kept. This is a goal post she's setting for herself and everyone else. Because she's said the words, now she must make it true. ]
( We'll make sure it doesn't get anywhere close to that. )
[ Her conviction is solid enough to touch. Promises made must be kept. This is a goal post she's setting for herself and everyone else. Because she's said the words, now she must make it true. ]
[ He's aware of Misato's boundary issues. His mind isn't a welcome place at the moment, the edges that touch their connection spiked with heat and nauseating shifts in gravity, but they aren't caused or directed at her specifically. ]
( Yeah, I know. ) [ Neutral, though not dismissive. He hadn't wanted her placating reassurance or apology in that moment. His mood is less reactive now. ] ( We all chose this, right? )
[ To survive. ]
( Yeah, I know. ) [ Neutral, though not dismissive. He hadn't wanted her placating reassurance or apology in that moment. His mood is less reactive now. ] ( We all chose this, right? )
[ To survive. ]
( As much of a choice as anyone could make between certain death or this. )
[ That's no justification for anything. That's just selfishness, wanting to survive at the cost of other people's lives. Even so. ]
( I mean it. I like knowing how bad things could get, but I'm aiming much, much higher than that. I really think we have a shot at pulling this off. )
[ That's no justification for anything. That's just selfishness, wanting to survive at the cost of other people's lives. Even so. ]
( I mean it. I like knowing how bad things could get, but I'm aiming much, much higher than that. I really think we have a shot at pulling this off. )
[He doesn't say anything, with words. There's just a sensation angled toward Steve. A brief glance. One moment of solidarity before he's back to paying attention.]
[I'm with you, it says.]
[I'm with you, it says.]
[ In the midst of the brewing storm in his head, Steve's surprised by the sudden contact. A flicker of thanks breaks through the noise. Good to know who stands where. ]
[The feeling of a nod. Of a handshake under stars and the warning crackle of lightning. Any time.]
[He'll leave it there, unless Steve wants or needs another bit of backup.]
[He'll leave it there, unless Steve wants or needs another bit of backup.]
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